The Ash Grove: Andy Borowitz: Americans Safe From Gun Violence, Except…, & The Get Lit Players


———————————————————— The Ash Grove Andy Borowitz: Americans Safe From Gun Violence, Except…, & The Get Lit Players ** Study: Americans Safe From Gun Violence Except in Schools, Malls, Airports, Movie Theatres, Workplaces, Streets, Own Homes ———————————————————— By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker 07 November 13 Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, “The Borowitz Report.” A new study released today indicates that Americans are safe from the threat of gun violence except in schools, malls, airports, movie theatres, workplaces, streets, and their own homes. Also: highways, turnpikes, libraries, places of worship, parks, universities, restaurants, post offices, and cars. Plus: driveways, garages, gyms, stores, military bases-and a host of other buildings, structures, and sites. National Rifle Association C.E.O. Wayne LaPierre applauded the study, saying that it reinforced his organization’s long-held position that the United States does not need additional gun laws. “This study makes it abundantly clear that Americans are in no danger of gun violence except in these isolated four hundred and thirteen places,” he said. He added that he hoped that the study would spark a conversation “about the root cause of mass shootings: people who recklessly show up at places where they could be shot at.” * * * GET LIT HOSTS EXTRAORDINARY EVENING OF PERFORMANCE AND POETRY WITH CHEECH MARIN, NED COLLETTI, AND THE GET LIT PLAYERS Event Will Benefit Over 10,000 Teens By Supporting Literacy Programs at Inner City Los Angeles Schools Sunday, November 17 LOS ANGELES, Calif. – October 21, 2013 – Get Lit, a leading non-profit presenter of literary performance, education, and poetry programs that affects the lives of over 15,000 teens each year, is hosting an extraordinary evening of poetry and performance to benefit literacy programs at underserved inner city high schools. The event will occur on Sunday, November 17, 2013 from 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. at the Stadium Club at Dodger Stadium, 1000 Elysian Park Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90012. The exciting evening of entertainment and festivities will feature a special performance by Cheech Marin; a live auction conducted by Dodgers’ General Manager Nick Colletti with exclusive prizes including field level seats to a Dodgers game of choice, passes to the Prime Ticket Baseline Box Club for dinner, field visits during batting practice, and the opportunity to throw the first pitch of a game next season; and a slam poetry performance by award-winning teen poets, the Get Lit Players. Guests will also enjoy a grand buffet dinner created by executive chef Jason Tingley. Diane Lane started Get Lit in 2006. She was inspired by Chicano poet Jimmy Santiago Baca, who learned to read and write in maximum security prison and whom Lane played in a one person show (“Deep Sea Diving”) she wrote and performed. Lane eventually opened for Baca at detention centers, universities, and high schools across the American southwest. After receiving tremendous response and requests from students and teachers alike, Lane put together the Get Lit curriculum and started the program at multiple high schools in Los Angeles. “This evening of entertainment is an awe-inspiring one as we honor Cheech Marin, a great supporter of the arts and a hero to the young people in Los Angeles whom we serve and who aspire to great things,” says Diane Luby Lane, founder of Get Lit. “There is no better way to enjoy outstanding performances, experience transformative poetry and literature, and to give back to the community at the same time,” she added. General tickets to the event are $125 per person and $200 for VIP tickets, which include free parking, program recognition, and premiere seating. To learn more about the benefit event or Get Lit, please contact Jeannine Jacobi at (310) 857-6994 or, call the ticket hotline at (310) 962-6696, or visit About Get Lit – Words Ignite Founded in 2006 in Los Angeles, Get Lit is a leading non-profit presenter of literary performance, education, and teen poetry programs. Get Lit uses the memorization and recitation of classic poetry as a launch pad for teen-created spoken word responses, fusing the two forms of expression into compelling performances, conducted by teens in school, after school, and through the organization’s own select group of Get Lit Players. These poet ambassadors from throughout Los Angeles perform both classic and spoken word poetry, inspiring fellow teens to read, write, participate in the arts, and be leaders in their community. Each year, Get Lit reaches over 15,000 at-risk teens in more than 45 high schools, turning students into motivated scholars inspired to stay in school and thrive. 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